A Year Later...

I rolled over, reaching for the warmth of Safaree's body next to me. Instead I felt nothing but cold, stiff, and sheets that hadn't been slept on in a year. I sat up and jerked back to reality. I remembered that morning like it was yesterday. 

A year ago...

"Wakey, wakey sleeping beauty." he whispered softly in my ear. I pretended to be aggravated. Though much pretending was not really needed. "Safaree you know this is my only day off. I'ma need you to sit ya' oss down somewhere." I said forcefully. 

"Get up," he said reaching over me and grabbing my Barbieberry. "We going out. No cell phones. No barbz. No distractions. Just me and you." 
"Safareeeeeeee," I whined. "You're so annoying. Why you act like that?" 
He kissed my forehead and headed towards the door. Just as he was about to exit my room I called him, "SB, you really meant no Drake. Didn't you?" 
He stopped and stared at me. "Nicki, you are a work of art you know that." he said and stepped into the hallway closing the door behind him.

Present day...

The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. That was the last day... The last day I had allowed myself to be carefree and reckless. I got up and headed to the bathroom. I got in the shower and allowed myself to be taken back to that day. The smell of his hair, the touch of his skin, the sound of his voice. It all came rushing back to me. How it felt to be in his arms, how perfect everything was. I guess you wouldn't understand unless you lived that day. You wouldn't understand the guilt that plagued me. I knew it wasn't my fault, but wasn't it? I grabbed the handle of the door and took a step out of the shower. A gust of cold air hit me...

A year ago... 

"No wigs Nic. No make up. Just you in raw form." Safaree called as I stepped out of the shower. Whatever he had planned for the day was meant to be low key, or so I hoped. I couldn't risk paparazzi catching me off guard. I put my hair in a bun and threw on a pair of sweat pants. "Safareeeeee." I called, as I walked through the house barefoot. "Where are you?" I stepped into the kitchen and a gust of cold air coming from the open garage doors hit me. As I went to go close them I noticed a car in the driveway that was definitely not mine. "Fareee?" I called again. He snuck up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. "Today, we are normal people. No money. No fame. Just two best friends." he whispered in my ear. Another cold gust of wind hit me in the face.

Present day....

It was freezing. I hadn't had the courage to turn the thermostat up since an entire year ago. You figure you'd never need to in California. I walked on the floor barefoot, eager to feel something other than the pain in my chest.I walked down the hallway to the end bedroom. I hadn't heard a thing all night. Usually that would be a relief to me, but on this day, it just saddened me. I stopped just outside the door, not eager to see what awaited me inside. I leaned against the door, listening, and waiting. Then I heard it, it was a soft stirring. My legs suddenly couldn't handle the weight that was bestowed upon them and I slid slowly down the doorway, I hit the floor, and I began to weep.